Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Hillary the Stalker, The Big Kid Haircut, and A New Rule

No, for real real. In the last two weeks, I have gotten over a dozen phone calls from her. I pick up, she starts talking and I can't get a word in edgewise. "When I'm president, blah blah blah."

Come on, Hil, aren't you going to ask me about my dogs? My son? Do you want to see some pictures? Hil??

Chelsea even called me today for the love of God.

Can't she see that I'm just not that into her?


My little baby boy finally got a big kid haircut. Mommy has been a little attached to his golden baby curls, and I was quite sure that if we cut his hair short, I would have to go straight into grief counseling.

The kid has XS's thick, wavy good hair. But it tangles like mommy's at the drop of a hat and he's even more tender-headed. The wailing and gnashing of teeth that accompanied the daily comb-out were wearing on both of us.

XS's many unmarketable skills include being handy with a set of clippers, so he did The Deed when the E-Man was staying at his place over the weekend. When E came back and hopped out of the car, newly shorn, I was frozen to the spot. I waited for a second and didn't feel my heart drop into my shoes. In fact, I was amazed. He is so HANDSOME!

Of course, I'm still following him around wondering where this big kid came from.


New Rule: Foop is not allowed anywhere near the greeting card display at Target - EX-PECIALLY around holidays.

I foolishly went shopping for Mother's Day cards for my own momz, my grandfather's widow, and my soon to be ex-mothers in law, AKA The Nana's, who have babysat my son, held my hand, made me dinner, and taken me out to see the blues since XS walked out. God bless them.

All the "thanks for being there, Mom" cards were threatening to turn me into a puddle and then I got into looking for a card for Eileen. My maternal grandma died when I was in my 20's, and some years later, Gramps ran into, fell in love (again) with and married his high school sweetheart. They were very happy together. Gramps died last May. Eileen was holding his hand and I was looking into his eyes.

I miss my Gramps. He was a Viking and a scholar, the Great Sequoia of the family, a true Pater Familias. He was The Dude in Charge and the universe seems a little less substantial now that he's gone. As my very odd, very funny, and very cynical Uncle Eric said, in his typical dry tone, "One less generation standing between me and the abyss." I wouldn't have put it quite that way, but I get what he means.

So there I am in the Target, missing the world the way it was last year, thinking about my broken family, the beautiful women in my life, my dear old Gramps, the grandmother I never met, and a dog named Kona that I will be writing about soon. I was trying to play it off, but tears were streaming down my cheeks.

Damn you greeting card companies! Damn you all to hell!!


Bonus pic: (when life gets you down, go see Balloon Boy)


dawn224 said...

I'm just not that into Hillary either. But she hasn't called here. Might be that I'm a registered Republican :)

flutter said...

if hillary calls me, I am moving, the end.

Oh, The Joys said...

Countdown to you and E in my face...

Time moves too slowly sometimes, my love.

bzybead said...

big boy!omg!and about Hil, at least you live in a state that doesn't support her now!

jakelliesmom said...

What a handsome little devil he is. I hope the X saved a curl for you.

foop said...

OK, to clarify, I have nothing against Hil personally, I just wish she'd stop calling me at work (well, now that our primary has come and gone, I suppose she's over me).

jakelliesmom - actually, I was presented with a ziplog bag full of tangled E-hair - complete with burs, grass and lord knows what else. I think the boys go native when I'm not looking! I have no idea what to do with it...

Mrs. Chicken said...

You should see me around the Father's Day cards. Oy. One year I actually FORGOT my dad was dead and bought one for him.

Good times!

Your boy? SO handsome. Does he need a prom date? I have a lovely, curly haired girl looking for love ...

liv said...

i am deliberately not thinking about mother's day. i just can't.

Matt Bell said...

As you may remember, my Sam had gorgeous blond locks of hair. One week I was working away and J had the lot cut off. Soon after, he started calling me 'Dad' rather than 'Daddy'. I asked him, when did I suddenly become simply 'Dad'? He answered in a very matter of fact way, "Since I had my hair cut of course". Some derivative Samson moment.